Sunday by the Sea

Sunday was cloudy and rainy, and I was stressed AGAIN about Drew starting work the next day, and I think he was too, so we decided to try out Dublin's public transportation and head to Dun Laoghaire (pronounced Dun Leery), a little suburb/town on the coast, a couple of stops away from Dublin on the train.  We walked along a pier that must have been about 2 miles long and looked at the sea and watched fisherman on the pier and in boats on the water.  We ate at a cute place up the street and watched Federer win Wimbledon (I was rooting for the poor Brit!) and we headed back to do laundry and pick out Drew's work outfit for his first day and get organized.  It was a rainy but pleasant distraction from the impending doom! Just kidding.  Kind of.  Enjoy the pics!

Isn't he cute?

Day o' Fun!

After the emotional beating we had towards the end of the week, we slept in on Saturday and awoke to a GLORIOUS day in Dublin, which was a wonderful surprise after the 24-hour rain assault we received yesterday.  We went to a brunch place called Junior's and split a traditional Irish breakfast, complete with poached eggs, potatoes, tomatoes, beans, mushroom caps, black pudding, bacon, sausage, and toast with Irish butter.  Mmmmm!!!!!  It was so good.

Yummmm.

We then decided to head over to Trinity College to take full advantage of the weather with a walking tour around campus - which also provided a good time to bust out our brand new fancy schmancy camera with lots of bells and whistles I don't understand.  We laid on the grass for about an hour in the sun waiting for Tracy, which was awesome, and then our tour commenced.  We had a very witty and charismatic tour guide who looked just like Harry Potter, a doctoral candidate at the college who was graduating soon.  Woohoo!  The tour ended with a trip into the Library to see the Book of Kells, an elaborately decorated manuscript of the four gospels from the 9th century, and a view of the Long Room, a BEAUTIFUL part of the library which looks like something from Harry Potter!  Cooooool.  

Dumb American Story: the smart witty charismatic tour guide was trying to be friendly with the tourists as we walked to each building, and I overheard him ask the girl and two women in front of us where they were from.  "TEXAS!  I go to Texas A&M actually,"  said the girl.  "Oh, is that the school that does this (and he did a gun sign for Texas Tech) or this (a thumbs up sign for the Aggies)?" and she said "Definitely the thumbs up sign!  I'm shocked you know that!" He performed some other hand signs for Texas schools that he knew, like the Horned Frogs, Baylor Bears, and Tech again.  Never saw one for Texas.  The girl and the two women proceeded to tell him what was wrong with every school he rattled off in comparison with A&M.  Naturally.  Then the girl goes "Yeah, it's my Senior year, so I finally get to Whoop."  He looked confused.  "I'm sorry, whoop?" he asked, in his Irish accent.  "Yeah!  Like...yell whoop.  Like this: WHOOOOP!"  she proceeded to yell.  Drew and I looked on in horror while Tracy asked what the hell she was talking about.  We tried explaining what Whooping was but it was to no avail.  The poor tour guide was equally confused while this girl babbled on about Whooping.  Ah well.  #dumbamericans.

The bell tower.

Smile!  It's sunny!

My boo, lounging in the grass.

The outside of the Long Room/library.

Us in front of the chapel.

Lovers at the bell tower.  Notice my manly tourist bullshit shoes.

Tracy hadn't been to Temple Bar so we walked over there and it was HOPPIN'!  SO many people, mostly tourists (like ourselves) I assume, but we joined right in.  We went into one bar with live music and it was crowded with drunk, sweaty people, mostly males with Stag Parties (Bachelor parties), and got some Carlsbergs before we were enveloped in a mosh pit of drunkards.  We popped into a few more pubs in the area, sampling different beers, before we called it an early night.  

More Temple Bar

Pub crawlin!

We got some pizza from a take-away place across the street and came home and Skyped with our families.  Today's my mama's birthday, so happy birthday Mom!!!  I miss you!!  They held up Murphy in the camera and I had to fight back tears.  Oooo boy.

Tracy is taking a bus tour to Kilkenny tomorrow, and we thought about going but we figured we have plenty of time to see Ireland and we might as well get any final shit together we can before Drew starts work.  Hopefully the weather will be nice and we can have some more fun!  More tomorrow.  G'night!

Worries

I haven't written in a day or two, mostly because I didn't have a lot of positive things to report.  Thursday and Friday were both a bit of a beating, and most of our fun plans got shot to hell because of our bank situation, the rain, wind, and the immigration office.  It's really not easy being an immigrant, legal or not!


Thursday we woke up late (or I woke up late, Drew was up and had already been to two different banks to investigate accounts before I got out of bed), went to Drew's office to get some additional letters FOR the bank that they required, went back to the cell phone store (4th day in a row) to try to correct some issues with Drew's phone, saw another shitty apartment (though the agent was such a nice Irish man we almost rented it from him on the spot), back to the apartment, and out to a fun dinner with Tracy and Drew's other future coworker from Florida, with his wife and cute bebe.  

Beautiful view of the Grand Canal Dock after dinner.

Friday we woke up early with the intention of FINALLY getting our bank account up and running, when they told us again that we needed yet ANOTHER letter from PWC with MY proof of address on it.  I really thought we both might break down in tears at that point because we were so frustrated.  We remained calm, decided we'd run by the immigration office to officially register (we only have a month to do so), and then we'd go to the Guinness Brewery to have some fun and let loose.  Wrong.  We waited at the GNIB for 3 HOURS to be seen by someone and for my fingerprints, which are evidently non-existant, to come through.  We finished by 4pm and it was too late for Guinness, so we walked to the PWC office in the pouring rain and wind (I'm talking both of our umbrellas flipped inside out, such a joke) to get the letter, and went home to sulk.  We ended up going to a really nice, fun pizza place near our apartment with Tracy, and then did our own personal pub crawl to finish up the evening.  We were in need of some fun.

Rain.

More rain.

Tracy and I with some Belfast Blondes.

There are so many wonderful things about being here and the city is such a great place, but this first week has just been a little difficult I guess.  On top of the business we have to take care of, we both get stressed out at different points during the day about different things.  Drew didn't speak most of Thursday because he had so much on his mind.  I didn't say much yesterday because my spirits were a little low with the immigration bullshit and the weather.  We are stressed about a variety of things, like our new apartment, having enough money to survive comfortably, making new friends, the weather, getting all of our crap done, and did I mention money?  And I suddenly realized that Drew starts work on Monday, which means I'll be totally alone beginning Monday at 9:30am.  Which scares me.  What the hell am I gonna do all day?  I've also been noticing that this whole week, not on purpose, Drew has been the primary caretaker - he makes sure we have all of our documents, he tells us how to get everywhere, he handles all the money, he's set up all of the apartment viewings, and I'm starting to feel like a worthless piece of junk and like I might not be able to do anything after he starts work.  Which is a dumb little wifey way to feel and I shouldn't feel like that.  But I do sometimes I guess.  So that all means that even though I'm married and am 27 years old and doing ok in life, this is going to be a huge growing and learning experience for me.  I'm going to have to learn my way around the city, call and set up all the electricity and cable and movers, and unpack, and set up the apartment, and grocery shop, and become a travel agent, and look for jobs, and join meet-up groups and American Women's groups, and all kinds of other shit that I'm not prepared for.  But here it is and I'll RISE TO THE CHALLENGE, as God as my witness!  I'll make Drew and everyone back at home proud of me!  I can do this!  I will become the confident person I know is buried deep down inside, a trillion miles below the surface! I hope.  Blah.


Ahh.  That felt good to vent a little.  More positive posts to come!

Map of Dubs

I keep talking about different neighborhoods and areas and wanted to show my peeps a map of Dublin. I couldn't find a good one so I've taken matters into my own hands and created a minuscule map for you to look at.

Like I said, this is a very large map of the WHOLE city, which means you can't see detailed things very well.  But I'll include another smaller localized map you can see of our area and the areas we'll be frequenting.  


Key for this map:

• Red star in upper right hand corner: Drew's office
• Bigger star in the right center: our new apartment!
• Blue ball in the lower right corner: the apartment/neighborhood we're currently living in
• Ballsbridge, Ranelagh, Donnybrook (lower right): popular neighborhoods among young professionals that we've been looking to live in.  Our apartment is still considered Ballsbridge, technically.  I think.
• Pink dot in the center: St. Stephen's Green - a huge awesome park in the middle of the city. (The apartment I loved was just West of the park.)
• Yellow dot above St. Stephen's Green: Trinity College - beautiful/famous university here in Dublin
• Temple Bar (near the red dot in the center of the map): a famous bar, AND a touristy area with small shops and restaurants and cobblestone streets.  It looks like old school Ireland.  As if I know what that actually looks like.
• Phoenix Park (upper left): another RIDICULOUSLY huge park in the city that hosts music festivals, a zoo, all of the government officials' homes, and their own breed of wild deer running throughout the park!  Crazy.

The city itself is divided right through the middle by the River Liffey, and evidently there are two distinct personalities for each side.  Dublin is labeled by it's area codes/neighborhoods, beginning in the center.  Dublin 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 all radiate out from the center of the city and are NORTH of the river.  Dublin 2, 4, 6, and 8 radiate out from the center of the city and are SOUTH of the river.  From what we hear and have researched, we will be hanging out in Dublin 2 and 4.

Is any of this making sense?  Probably not.  And my map is so small and hard to read - but hopefully this just provides an OVERVIEW of our city and where we'll be living and working and trying to survive.  More maps to come!

Apartments and Parties

Wednesday was a BEAUTIFUL day and we decided to set out to the Department of Social and Family Affairs to get our PPS numbers (like Social Security numbers) - only after I had a small panic attack about forgetting some important pills at home that prevent me from getting pregnant.  Awesome.  Our cab driver was incredibly friendly and helpful, and wished us a Happy 4th!  (Side note: almost everyone in Ireland knew it was the 4th of July and what that meant.  I realized that I don't know many foreign holidays.  Cinco de Mayo, Bastille Day, and Boxing Day.  That's really all I can think of off the top of my head.  How come they know everything about the 4th?  Hmm.  #dumbamericanquestions.)  The place was across the river in a shadier part of town but everything went smoothly.  We waited about 45 minutes and got to observe lots of foreigners and all walks of life, kinda like the DMV or the Social Security office in Texas. We need PPS numbers to open bank accounts, rent apartments, and anything else important.  We then walked over to our next apartment viewing, stopping by the cute Temple Bar area and some other quaint touristy places first.  

Solo shot at Temple Bar!

The apartment we ended up seeing was nice.  Wooden floors and modern lighting and it appeared to be CLEAN, which is all I can really ask for.  Drew wasn't feeling it, and the location wasn't great for his job, so we let it go.  We went and got our mobile issues fixed, walked around St. Stephen's Green, a huge beautiful park in the middle of the city, and ate a light lunch at an outdoor cafe cause it was SUNNY out!  You could tell that everyone in Dublin was taking full advantage of the sun and they would stand in it every chance they got.  We headed to our next apartment viewing in a GREAT location right near St. Stephen's Green and Trinity College, off on a side street near great shops and restaurants and bars, and the apartment itself was AWESOME.  I don't know why but I fell in love with it.  It had REALLY CLEAN carpet, a microscopic but CLEAN kitchen, a gorgeous view of all the rooftops, lots of storage, a decent sized CLEAN bathroom - I thought we found the place we're gonna live!!  I was so excited but Drew didn't like it as much as me.  Damnit.  He wasn't sure about the location, since it was really close to a lot of touristy things, all of the young professionals that we've met lived in other areas, it wasn't too close to his job, etc.  He did call the guy to let him know we thought we wanted to take it, but when we got home, we saw online that a couple had come in right after us and taken it.  F. F. F my life.  We have two apartment viewings set up for Thursday but Drew is pretty sold on this other one we saw yesterday on Love Lane.  I don't have a great feeling about it but Drew does.  We have differing opinions, both valid: I want a place I can love and be happy in, because I may never work and may be spending tons of time in it.  Drew wants a place that's close to work and in a good location because...he's the whole reason we're here.  I see both sides.  But ultimately I think it came down to Drew really feeling strongly about this place and this location so...here we go.  I'll be praying for an attitude change this week.


We took the scenic route home, took showers, and got ready for our 4th of July party.  I didn't have a hair dryer so I had to stand on my tiptoes under the "towel heater" (basically a weaker version of a hand dryer in a public restroom) for 30 minutes to try to get my hair remotely dry.  Met Tracy at a pub near our place for some liquid courage, and off we went!

Pub pic at Bellamy's

We walked into a BEAUTIFUL, LARGE townhouse in Donnybrook (I swear I'm posting a map ASAP), which evidently isn't "normal" Dublin living - thank God - to a backyard full of strangers staring at us.  Thankfully several of them came up to meet us and talk to us and I did what I usually do when nervous - I started pounding the wine.  I'm kidding.  Or am I? I am.  Mostly.


There's not a ton to report from the party, except that there was good food, a lot of REALLLLLLY nice people who were open to helping us out in any way they could, a German guy and his girlfriend who were quizzing me on my knowledge of the Declaration of Independence and everyone who signed it (yikes - John, I don't think I made you very proud), a SPANIARD who I got to speak lots of Spanish with!, and me breaking a plate when I casually leaned onto a counter and it slipped right off.  Major party foul and I wasn't even drunk!!!!  And the girl I was talking to literally sped off the minute it happened, leaving me standing there in the kitchen with everyone staring at me!!  My worst nightmare.  That and clogging a toilet at a party.  F.  The host was gracious and said the plate cost $0.50 but I felt like a real tard card. Ah well.  Loved the people and loved getting to meet other people in our situation that look like they're surviving and thriving.  Whew.


Today we're going to find Advil, set up a bank account, view ONE more apartment, even though we already picked ours, probably walk around the city more, and have dinner with some other Americans at PWC.  More later!

Observations

Observations and things we'll have to get used to:

• We are overall overwhelmed with getting to know the city.  We don't know where we're going or what the different areas are or what's nice and what's not and we feel like we have to get to know it really quickly to figure out where to live.  But don't know how to do that.  
• Drew and I are also total foodies, love going out for food and drinks, but we literally don't know any restaurants or pubs to go to.  Sure, they are everywhere, but we are cheap bastards right now and don't want to risk eating at a bad place and wasting our time and money!  
• We've been walking everywhere, which we really like, but should probably figure out public transportation.
• So far, we gauge the temperature in the morning and try to layer and figure out the temp by the time we get somewhere, get mid-day, etc.  By the time we get ANYWHERE we are sweating profusely (potentially because we walk so fast) because of the humidity, or the weather, or sun, or rain, or WHATEVER the reason - we are sweating so much.  Not sure how to dress or how to gauge what to wear.
• Along those same lines, the weather changes hourly.  Literally.  You know the expression "Don't like the weather in Texas?  Wait a day!"  In Dublin, it should be "Wait an hour!"  The weather literally changes every hour.  Our first day here it rained, was cold, then warmed up, got humid, the sun came out, the rain poured again, the sun came back out, it was cold, it was warm, and then it was cold again. Tuesday rained pretty much ALL DAY.  Wednesday was the most beautiful day we've seen here.  (All 3 days of it - but I'm listening to the Dubliners here people!).  It literally changes so much it's unbelieavable.  We now know never to leave the house without an umbrella and a light jacket.  You'll need both at some point during the day.
• Our initial thought was that the people weren't as nice as we'd heard.  But I think I'd like to recant that statement because our cab drivers and other waiters, bartenders, and the like have been incredibly nice.  Super helpful and caring and outgoing.  The guy at the Customs counter barked out "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN IRELAND!?" and we said we/he was here to work.  He demanded our papers and gruffly told us to report to the immigration place within a month's time or we'd be in SERIOUS TROUBLE.  Yikes.  But the other people have more than made up for it.
• As far as the city goes, we really don't know what to think.  We think we're really going to like it here.  I think I personally was envisioning a more "European" city, with a more European feel, and this isn't necessarily it.  I don't even know what that means or what the definition of a "European" city is.  Some parts are very old and cute and quaint and some are very modern, which I do like.  But overall I think we're going to like it here - cute neighborhoods and residential areas and apartments and bars and restaurants and a good old part of town that DOES feel touristy with the cobblestone streets - sounds good to me.  I'll TAKE IT!

Day 2

Day 2 was the busiest day we've had thus far.  All two days we've been here.  Ha.  We woke up early and walked to the PWC office on the River Liffey.  The walk was around 45 minutes, and it was supposed to be 15 minutes according to the cab driver.  Ah well.  I have noticed that there is absolutely NO POINT in ever doing my hair again here.  My hair is my security blanket.  It needs to be down, preferably curled, and I feel more secured with myself and my body and my life.  Here, it inevitably gets frizzy and sweaty and out of control in a minute's time.  Drew even told me I needed to do something with it because it looked bunk.  Man!  I CANNOT go through 2 years of not doing my hair and not feeling good about myself so I'm not sure what I'll do.  I'll figure it out.  We also dressed in layers because it appeared to be cold as we left, but soon after we started hauling ass we were sweating in no time.  Damnit!!  


We walked into the PWC building, which is located directly on the River Liffey in a brand new very modern building.  Jane, his HR person, came down and introduced herself to us, and whisked Drew away to do paperwork and make introductions and take a tour.  I took time to read brochures on PWC Dublin and to notice everyone's outfits.  I meanwhile sat in the lobby waiting patiently, and I suddenly realized that I forgot to eat breakfast.  I brainstormed ideas of things I could eat in my purse - should never have taken those snacks out yesterday.  Does notebook paper taste good?  I was fading fast.  He finally returned and we headed to a little deli along the river called the Pig and Heifer for some pastrami and gorgonzola sandwiches.  Mmmm.  Just what the doctor ordered. 

PWC: Making dreams come true since 2012

We then went to view other apartment buildings.  It was POURING RAIN ALL F-ING DAY so I knew we were in for a real treat.  Drew had set up 4 viewings all throughout the afternoon so...here we go.  The first place we saw was very close to the tourist attractions (Trinity College, St. Stephen's Green) and we liked it ok.  It hadn't been cleaned or painted but looked like it could be doable.  We were just concerned with the location and if it would be too crowded.  The second place was located on Love Lane (ha.) and was pretty cute I guess.  Drew liked it, especially the location, but something about it...made me not love it.  I don't know what or why.  Leather furniture?  Not clean enough?  Waiting outside in the rain 30 minutes?  I'm not sure.  Not my fave.  The third place was our biggest disappointment thus far.  This place was called Auron Court, and it was a BEAUTIFUL Georgian row house with a cute painted red door on a long street of fabulous houses and cute bars and restaurants.  It was the top floor apartment and the location was the best in the whole city.  Literally.  We waited outside in the rain for the douchey real estate agent to show up, only for him to show us THE BIGGEST SHIT HOLE WE'VE EVER SEEN.  Literally.  Such a joke of an apartment and such a huge freakin disappointment!  SO dirty, futons with stains on them, kitchens with stains on them, a bathroom infested with moths, SO GROSS.  Ugh.  The last apartment was north of the river, inhabited by 2 large gothic Swedes who I actually believed had lured us there to kill us.  They ended up being very nice people hoping to get out of their lease but the location wasn't ideal and the said they wouldn't clean the place which made me wanna vom.  So we let that place go.  We were so incredibly tired and we cabbed it to a couple of pubs for drinks and dinner, and then home for bed.  Sheesh.

Guinness coaster - reminded me of John

Some of Day 2's observations:  men wear tight, short, cropped suits here.  Drew will look like a gangster but Evan would fit in perfectly.  I need to buy Converse All Stars immediately.  I have blisters all over my feet and am forced to wear my big bulky tennis shoes and I feel like a dumb...a-hole.  I have another word I'd like to use there but I WON'T because of my audience.  They just look bad.  I can wear the cutest outfit up top but if you look at my feet I look like a manly tourist.  I need some Converse because they're popular and comfy here.  It rained all afternoon.  I'll have to get used to the weather.  It wasn't fun.  But we'll get used to it and it'll be fine!  And last but not least, we got our phones set up.  This was a big deal because I've felt out of the loop and upset since we got here with my lack of internet on my phone.  We have it now!  Anyone I know - download Viber and let's chat!  I gotta get all that figured out but it will be soon enough.

We took a brief walk through Trinity College and saw these pretty buildings!

More pretty greenery at Trinity College.

I'm tired and ready for bed.  Goodnight all!

First Day

Overall, the flight and the travel experience abroad was fantastic.  We arrived around 4:50AM in Dublin from Boston, ahead of schedule, after a quick 5.5 hour flight over filled with Channing Tatum movies and Sex and the City episodes.  A drink, a meal, and a light nap, and we were landing on a cloudy but very green island.  All 3 of our humongous bags arrived, thank God, and our cab driver assigned to pick us up couldn't have been nicer.  He took us the long way in, past Drew's office, over the River Liffey, through several different neighborhoods, past some stadiums, and we finally arrived at our temporary corporate housing by 5:45AM.  It's in a really pretty apartment building close to two nice hotels in a neighborhood called Ballsbridge - and the apartment itself is pretty nice.  Big(ger) bedroom, nice living room with couch and tv and table and chairs and free Wi-fi, and a small kitchen and bathroom.  Perfect for what we need!  I actually probably wouldn't mind renting this very apartment.


Though I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to nap when you get to another country abroad to "get on their schedule", I somehow convinced Drew that nothing was open and we wouldn't have anything to do until 9 or 10 anyway.  So we napped for awhile!  I needed that bad.  Drew was up in no time ready to explore and it took extra time to get me out of bed, in the shower, and moving.  So sue me.  


The weather was humid and warmer for Dublin standards, and we stopped across the street from our place at a shop called Insomnia Coffee for Drew.  We walked in the rain to Grafton Street, a well-known super crowded touristy area, and checked out the mobile phone situation and what we wanted and needed.  We'll probably come back tomorrow to figure that out.  We then stopped for a soup and sandwich at Fallon and Byrne, a large food market and restaurant, kind of like Eatzi's.  Delish and my soon to be happy place.  My feet were getting blisters (surprise!) so we stopped by a local grocery store to check out the scene, bought some band-aids, and went home to blog/nap.  Drew researched more apartments as per usual.


To find apartments here in Dublin, we/Drew has been looking at a huge online database called Daft.ie.  You can save apartments you like, email the owners, call them, etc., and set up appointments to go view them.  Drew had scheduled two viewings on our first day, so we headed out to see them.  The first one was on a crowded street on Lower Camden (I'll provide a map later) that was a DUMP.  Dingy carpets and wooden doors that wouldn't close and gross furniture and a disgusting view of a courtyard with a creepster smoking outside looking up at us.  Sick.  No thanks.  We hauled ass to across town to see the other apartment, waited outside for 30 minutes until we thought the landlord was there, walked up the stairs, and she opened the door to tell us the couple currently inside viewing the apartment had just decided to take it.  Awesome.  So far, not so good.  We were slightly annoyed and frustrated so we went to a nearby pub, Slattery's, with our new friend Tracy (working with Drew at PWC from Florida).  We got our first Guinness and Drew got lessons on drinking Irish whiskey!  He also told us how they do things at pubs: you seat yourselves, you pay after each drink (or round), where to get the best fish and chips in the neighborhood, and gave excellent beer and whiskey recommendations.  


One funny side note: we walked into the pub, not knowing whether we seat ourselves, whether we go to the bar and order, not knowing anything.  We awkwardly stood in the middle of the bar when our friendly bartender walked up and said "Hi folks!  Tursty?"  Now with a strong Irish accent, they don't pronounce the "th" sound.  Thanks becomes tanks, thousand becomes tousand, etc.  Due to the fact that we stood out like a sore thumb and had no idea what we were doing, Drew assumed the guy said "Hi folks!  Touristy?"  so he naturally replied "well actually, yes, we just moved here from Texas!"  The guy was so nice and inquisitive about our move that it wasn't until later that we realized he was probably asking us if we were THIRSTY and didn't give a shit where we were from.  Thirsty?  Yeah!  We're from Texas!  Dumbasses.  Guess feeling stupid is just something we'll have to get used to.

Drew's first Guinness!

We took his recommendation and got some fish and chips to SPLIT (who are we?) and walked home at 10PM with the sun still shining.  It was an overwhelming but really great first day.  We think we're gonna like it here.

Flight Notes

Here are some notes I took in my journal on the flight:


10:15AM:
Sitting in the airport terminal, thinking I'd have Wifi but I don't.  Need to Instagram and Tweet to my people!
Had a really rough morning.  REALLLLLY rough.  I woke up filled with nothing but dread and panic and the feeling that I should run for the hills and never look back.  Which I guess defeats the purposes of leaving/going.  I wanted to throw up and maybe poop my pants.  Probably both.  I got up and brushed my teeth and went to my parents' room to do my hair, and then went and flopped on my parents' bed with my dog and burst into tears.  And then my mom cried and I cried more.  I went to do my hair and tried to deep breathe and get it together.  Then John came in with the bebe and I went and kissed her cheeks and then sobbed some more.  I couldn't get it TOGETHER!
Frazzled morning of packing, eating, running around.  Susan and Beth told us goodbye before we left and I cried again.  And so did Suze which is evidently a big deal for her - which made me cry more.  Ugh.  Went to tell John and Lauren and bebe Annie and Murph goodbye and cried even harder. Sobbed my eyes out.  Drove to the airport with Jane crying the whole time.  Not good.  Crying again right now.  Sunglasses on.  Trying to breathe and keep the vomit down.  Lauren, whatever you do, do NOT think of your dog's cute face or your niece's squishy cheeks or watch videos of her splashing around in the tub that you took the other day.  Gonna go snuggle up to Drew and cry together.  I'm so sad.  More in a bit.


6:40PMish:
We just took off on our flight to DUBLIN.  It's nuts.  Drew and I keep looking at each other like we're crazy and not sure what the hell we're doing.  Not a lot of words exchanged but lots of hugs and reassuring looks.  Oh brother.  Every time the Aer Lingus people come on we giggle at their accents.  
HIghlights so far have included chuckling at our first Irishman in America, sans teeth (I suggested taking a picture with him and Drew suggested saying "SAY CHEESE!" to show everyone his toothless smile), a surprisingly delicious sandwich at the Boston Food Court after a particularly rough landing, a lady on our flight named Imelda (reminding me of Harry Potter - MG/BA/KP: who is she in the book?), calling our moms to say hi and bye (my mom said she was in a bit of a funk and I cried/used my sunglasses all over again), seeing on Instagram that Annie rolled over all by herself and crying again, seeing a picture of Annie that John texted Drew and crying again, taking off while squeezing Drew's hand, and now watching two of my favorite episodes of Sex and the City on the plane.  Yay!  Evidently the flight is 5.5 hours so that's not so bad.
My eyes are swollen and I've been tearful and sad all day day, but now we're actually on the plane and I think the excitement is building.  Excitement and disbelief and bewilderment and questions and more disbelief.  I keep reminding Drew that we're not going on a small vacation - we're going there to LIVE.
They're coming around with food and bevs now and part of me wants a beer to celebrate.  But I also know that I should just get water cause that's what you're supposed to have to avoid jetlag so I guess I'l do that.  We land and it should be around midnight our time and 5AM Dublin time.  I wanna go home and nap but Drew says we gotta stay up!  Ugh.  
I feel like I should be emoting more than I am but I don't know what to say besides...I'm tired, sad, unbelieving, bewildered, overwhelmed, and excited.  
Having anxiety about the Fourth of July party we're invited to Wednesday.  Won't know anyone and my self-diagnosed Social Anxiety Disorder will kick in.  That's all I wanna say on that.
Bar cart coming around now, dinner in an hour, then 3 hours to hang out.  The pilot just came on to give an update and he wouldn't tell us what the weather was like in Dublin because he "didn't want to depress" us.  Awesome.  Maybe I can use that as incentive to sleep a little if it's raining and then head out for an Irish breakfast/lunch and get a lay of the land.  Gonna go watch TV now.  More tomorrow.

Drew and I at DFW with our 6 bags.  Yikes.

The Night Before

We leave for Ireland tomorrow.  I'm laying in bed and it's midnight and Drew's at his house and I'm at mine and I should be trying to fall asleep, but I wanted to write down a few of my thoughts I guess.  I'm ready to go.  I'm ready to quit talking about it with everyone and ready to stop answering the same questions and ready to get the sad goodbye parts over with, go to the airport, go through security, get on the plane, and breathe.  I think we'll both be ok once all of that happens.  So much build-up and anxiety to deal with and I think we're just ready for the anticipation to be over.

I've mostly been trying to numb myself.  I haven't cried too much, only today when telling Kell goodbye, and Kathleen, and someone else I'm not remembering.  And I want to sob my eyes out everytime I think of leaving Murphy (precious dog/love of my life) or Annie (squishy bebe niece/love of my life).  Those two worry me the most - with dogs and babies, you have to be physically present to have a relationship with them.  You can't Skype or text with them.  Everyone else you can.  I'm worried about my mom, who has been crying a lot, but I have a feeling that the anticipation of the goodbye and of me leaving will be worse than the actual leaving itself.  Or I hope so.

My brain is kind of blank and fuzzy right now, which means the numbing is working.  I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing.  I think it's a fairly healthy coping skill, something that's new and different for me because I'm generally a big jumbled emotional mess about anything and everything.  I've been eating and drinking wine a lot too.  My pants don't fit that well.  Ha.  Ah well.  It'll all even out and be ok.  

Generally, before big life events, like weddings, or graduations, or anything else, I am much more nostalgic than I'm being now.  I do the whole "Ahh!  This is my last time to ever eat at this restaurant!" or "This is my last time to ever drive down this particular street on this particular day!" or anything else ridiculous.  But I really haven't done that and I'm not sure why.  Maybe because I know it's not permanent, and I'll be back in 5 months.  And after two years, I'll most likely be back for good.  My goodbyes have been varied and often but they have generally been very short and sweet, with no teary emotional things said, except "Have so much fun!"  And we will!

  

I'm struggling with being myself and authentic and real in this thing, but I find it hard to be as real as I want when it's a blog that parents and kids alike all read.  Sigh.  I guess I'll have to work on that and find my voice.  Or something.

It's 12:20 and I know I need to go to bed.  Tomorrow morning will come fast and I don't think I'm prepared.  ACK!  I just got a pit in my stomach.  I can't believe it's tomorrow and can't believe it's really happening, after all the years of dreaming and hoping and praying and wishing.  Wow.  Ok.  Deep breaths.  I can do this.